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By changing the true feelings wholeheartedly (two)By changing the true feelings wholeheartedly
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By changing the true feelings wholeheartedly
09:20, 28 December 2009
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By changing the true feelings wholeheartedly Fall for the brother, why the flesh and blood are kissed.
It is clear for more than ten years to know. Remember at that time, all of us were the new students who just entered the same middle school, happened to be assigned to the same class, we become to begin in order that sisters are since the second day.
That year, the school should hold the party of celebrating New Year's Day. Our class newspaper national dance, I am one of the team members, it is the field at the time of the party of New Year's Day to rehearse the place, one the great hall, very near to the school, get, class is over, they will high to run, come over, think interest have, she is among them too. I often notice this often forgotten the girl in the corner by others, see she sees the expression in one's eyes that we envy while dancing, sparkle, does not evade at all. I can find out how she wishes eagerly to want to stand on this stage with us, dance with us, rehearse, I advise to the captain, let her participate in too, it it reacts result to be it want than me to opposition the getting fiercer,at I under the one purpose insist on, some team members forcing it say: "If she has come in, we withdraw. " See this, whom I can only have no way out put down this thought.
In the near future, the form master will transfer her and me as the deskmate. I and she are the people who are not very good at making friends voluntarily, just the expression way is different. She dodges and shrinks, I pretend to be cool cold and detachedly. Once had a class, the sudden notes without foundation, I looked around, thought whose practical joke with me, while planning to throw away the note, the deskmate's she discloses the arms which puts me, blushes scarlet, I understand it was her originally in subconsciousness, open the note, has presented several words carefully and neatly, "thank you, may we become friends? "
Two Buddhist monks of my Zhang can not touch the head, pick up pens livelily and vigorously back to several words, "why thank me? "
"Your suggestion because of New Year's Day that time. " She replies. Know from where is she to it sounds as if this, only we really became the difficult sister's difficult sister from then on.
One weekend, she invites me to go to her home to sojourn hospitably. I think to the appearance of ten million kinds poverty of her family, just as I stand in the instant in front of her house, the psychological preparation that has already finished disintegrates in the twinkling of an eye, I know some of me fail to see the firework of human world, my heart is baffled and miserable for a moment. This first soil can house of the soil, watch some hole hole holes holes caused because of yellow mud dropping at the wall, I tremble with fear. Why survive from devil's talon of each violent storm to consider this small broken room. When come into the kitchen, the estimation that my eyes stare at can compare favourably with the goldfish. By the top of a kitchen range is the pigsty, there is a big fat pig of both ends that washes me and " moans " inside ,Activeness seeming to let them be extraordinary in my arrival. Look at a dirty messy one, smell on pigsty floating dung bad smell that coming out, I am unable to imagine who can swallow the next meal under such an environment, she has lived here for several decades, up to now, even has continued. Her mother and father look very severe, reserved. I hurting it am a bit poverty-stricken too, pig's cry beyond cutting the dish sound in the house. She advise me to go to the outside to get about to get about, if she find out I am uneasy. I nod slightly, turn round to leave, the gate is while turning, I hear her mother saying: "Others are the daughter, came this is really hurt and wronged, she, you are really thoughtless too, why not say hello with the mother ahead of time, let mothers prepare too. "
"Mother, don't worry, she is not such a person, believes me, though her house is rich, but she is different from others. " I getting silly, tone firmness like this of her, she trust I like this, only because the New Year's Day a small suggestion, it is that an important one is definite to her.
I should understand early, stand in the instant in front of this house from me, I understand, she though one is poor,he has lofty aspirations, she have absolute self-esteem, and firm defence heart. She can take me to this dirty and also discredited and broken family, it is obvious she has absolute trust to my personality and morality, understand I will not laugh at, will not detest, will not dislike and avoid her. The tears backfall along the cheek, I take out the napkin to polish. "The ocean, what's the matter with you? " She comes out of the gate carrying the steaming hot surface of the bowl.
"Does not matter, what is this on your end? " Moving sad again mood in order to cover up oneself, I shift the topic on purpose.
"It is certainly the lunch for you, noodles, the family crowds the also dirty one, is afraid you can not eat any more, so the end is come out to eat for you, sorry! Don't mind. " She smiles at me naughtily.
"The scenery outside is very good, the air is very fresh, the long life that can live here estimating is one hundred years old! Have mountain and water, have House of this mud of yours, oh, you are still really traditional running out from the gully ditch. Including your personality and soul, as clean and transparent as this mountains and rivers. " I am a bit meaningful, the topic is too heavy. "We enter, take, accompany you parents, you study, come back while being rare too. " I put forward the suggestion. Walk to the room drawing her. Taste of noodles good, solving it under the 0.15 of me, she parents see me laugh at straight, then let one be gratified.
Having eaten up the delicious noodles full of love again, I find out some strength is repaid, then wash the bowl. Just before a station of mine gets to the top of a kitchen range, while holding the sleeve preparation, she and her mother, even what asked the area to ask had shooed away me. Have no way, I have only winding a circle after turning around nearby of living a life of ease and leisure occupied with nothing, while going back to the gate of her home, see she is carrying the basket and coming out. "What are you going to do like this? " What I do not understand is asked.
"Oh, I go out to take and order to come back in the field for my parents more, I take one or two weeks going back to school. I'm afraid she is too tired, will you stay here for a moment first? " The saying to me of her whole face apology.
"Do not matter! Please go, I'm fine, don't worry. " In order to let her settle down, I risk one's life showing the smile not appearing to her very much on ordinary days. In fact, she so uneasy in me. Do not know why face her that pair of parents not very talkative, it happens that we are all similar people, it is still really a question to get along.
"Your name is the ocean? " It is her mother.
"Yes, auntie, how is it? " My heart is agitated.
"We house nothing people come too at ordinary times, see you come, we very glad, can say something about clear state in school with my wife and me? " That's great, there was a topic at last, just suddenly I did not know how to open one's mouth.
"She is pretty good in the school, study very conscientiously, and very friendly between classmates. " Whom I speak a little against one's will, eyes dare to face up to this person care about one's own mother of daughter wholeheartedly at the moment. It is not good at all in the school to be clear, she has no friend, is disdained, is detested. But how do I tell you these? I bow the head, read countless pieces of " sorry " silently in the heart . Because I have spread a well-meaning lie in front of a sincere mother love.
"What kind of child it is no matter clear until others in the eyes, in my wife and me of the eyes, she is a very clever and very obedient and very filial daughter. " I can see this mother's flashing tears in the eyes.
On the road returned to, " what's the matter after asking me n clearly? " Because after she plucked dishes, we leave and return, a word of mine was not spoken either on the way. My state of mind also stays in the scene of talking with that pair of married couple, it is smaller and weaker than I that I stare at this body bone before having in mind, month but than heavy two month such as me, hurt I call her sound " sister " Little girl.
Learn from she parents she sad and dreary to give birth to after the generation, heart of me fail calm for a long time personally. Run out, in the near future, give, abandon parents right away in mother's womb just in her. Place one poor married couple house gate on, she used for little cotton-wadded quilt to make baby on one's body at that time, have not left anything, has not evened have a small note. From that time, breeder mothers of she and own father no longer have any relation, the only ones that had the connection are the blood of their body with the same indraft, but no longer there is any kindred that can be spoken. She has known her since childhood parents have been one's own not now, she has not complained, have not hated, just the foster mother of the foster father of this pair of great kindness to her is as weighty as a mountain of filial piety quietly.
What I have no ability to help her at this moment, because all of my what parents give. I can only give her sincere friendship, and kind care. We at that time, was the youth, vigor, illusion. Always like strolling in the ornaments shop, buy and pile the ornaments to disguise oneself greatly, the textbook homework is lost on one side. Always imagine oneself as the swordswoman in Jin Yong's kungfu novel, heroine in sadly beautiful love novel Qiong Yao.
My home is very near to the this middle school, just come and go to run for seven or eight minutes. So leave school every afternoon, she always goes to my home to play. I will always give some new ornaments to her. I hope she can feel happiness, at least within I ability range only, how much done how much can be done. Because so she has suffered others' insult too, say she always goes to " the princess " The family, " princess " Fetch home and study individually late. Very obvious, " princess " in their mouth Mean me. She has cried, just I still hear that firm words in the sound of choking with sobs from her " no matter how others treat us, we are friends forever, and sisters. " Having finished listening to this sentence, heart that of mine lets one be made warm.
Our friendship is strengthened continuously. Time passes quickly, reach the stage of high school of studying in in a short time. I have been admitted to a high school in the town smoothly. And she is closed by the high lieutenant colonel's door like this at the door because of three fen of drop, if rich household can also through the way that the money is bought three these, continue and study in. But the shabby family of her, translate pieces of bottom until heaven estimate translate, produce odd pieces of money even. When being desperate, to give birth to, give birth to mother appear, stand in front of breeder mother she, she is too deep for tears. Full of in the expression in one's eyes angrily, joyful and helpless.
Under the narration of her breeder mother, we know, before her originally, another elder sister, the breeder mother originally planned to want another son, the result was disappointed to give birth to a baby girl, grit one's teeth, heart horizontal to embrace, raise her for someone else. After these two years, crown breeder mother's wishes, obtain sons again as expected. The second couple are extremely joyful, the ones that just lived and must work steadily and make solid progress were lived. One more mouth has a meal, should always try every possible means to maintain life. The own father planned to go away to exact debit, did business in the past, quite a lot of individuals owed him money. Just went from then on, there is not the returning date, never came back, did not know whether he still survives in this world. No matter he is dead or alive, he has one quarter to miss this to already give to others, but still the daughter of the same blood flows with him in the body. Many years after the own father loses the connection, the breeder mother is unable to bear the economic pressure because a person is taking two children, and two children want reading, has remarried under having no way out, the living condition turns better gradually.
Nowadays, she miss the daughter outside very much, she want, give, take, go back her. After finishing listening to her narration, run forward, is embracing one's own breeder mother tightly, "mother! " She has called out, called out at last. It is that oneself can hate for her to think, think oneself never have any relation with them, but the thinking it was wrong of her. She is what has been thirsted for the breeder mother is fond of, wish eagerly to meet with the younger brother of elder sister in another family.
After admitting, she decides to be growing the married woman's parent's home and staying for one week. Night, I lie at oneself easy soft bed, illusion she kiss elder sister and younger brother scene meet, with a one's own one, it should be the warmth so! Even in the dream, I seem to see her smile, very magnificent, very warm
Second, mother come, knock at I door very early in the morning, make it clear, come on. I put on nightdresses rapidly, run to the sitting room, " why do you come early in the morning? Oh. " I go to her cheerfully. Run nearly she, I am distracted, she has a trace of tears at the face. In the expression in one's eyes, the ones that were revealed are all full pain of injury. "What's the matter? Tell me. " I am too impatient to wait, ask catching her.
"I want to go home, go back to that tattered family "Some of her have choked with sobs.
My holding her tightly, pat her shoulder, so long as can let her feel and make warm well little by little. After she has calm mood slightly, and then have a chat with her.
"At yesterday, after I went to their home, saw elder sister and younger brother. I am very happy, just that elder sister does not look very glad, she seems to dislike and avoid me for being dirty a bit. But that younger brother is pretty good, have already studied in the Junior One. Two of them and I long picture very much " I find out, she has used " their family " when saying and growing the married woman's parent's home ,It is obvious she has not got any silk in that warmly. They let her think oneself is a stranger.
"Is not that pretty good? Why cry, lose a face come back? " I take care of about and speech, it.
"Pretty good? Oh, may be pretty good. " Listen to vicissitudes very in her tone. " when getting up this morning, I, with the mother (breeder mother) Say I want, continue, study in high school, hope she can help, buy, enter me. "
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